Alright
by Kallamae
Summary: A little post-Thessia one shot.  Shenko with a healthy dose of Joker & EDI.


_AN: It always felt strange to me that Kaidan didn't seem too concerned for Shepard after Thessia. It seemed like there was a missing scene. So, here's my humble attempt to fill in some of those missing details..._

Shepard had walked away, but the tension still hung thick in the air. "Damn it," Joker yelled after the door separating the bridge from the rest of the ship sealed shut. "That didn't help anything, did it?"

"No, Jeff." EDI's voice was smooth as always. "Perhaps your humor was ill-timed."

He shook his head. His humor was _never_ ill-timed. Jokes with a hefty side of sarcasm always helped break post-mission tension. Shepard had never snapped at him like that before. "I don't know, EDI. She's under too much pressure. One more thing and her head might explode. And really, I don't want to have to explain that to Admiral Hackett."

"I have previously observed that when Shepard's biometrics indicated levels of elevated stress, she would seek out conversation with certain crew members."

Joker twisted in his chair to look at EDI. "I don't think Shepard's in a very social mood. And in case you haven't noticed, Shepard in a bad mood is only slightly less intimidating than an enraged Krogan with a rocket launcher." He turned back to his control panels. "You know, that might explain why she always got along so well with Wrex and Grunt."

"I believe that Wrex has acknowledged Shepard to be an honorary Krogan," EDI agreed.

Joker scowled as he thought. "Wait, you can spy on everybody, right? Hasn't anyone talked to her?"

EDI pursed her lips. "I do not spy, Jeff." She paused for a moment. "However, my audio logs indicate that Admiral Anderson advised her to, 'Shake this off.' Major Alenko indicated that she shouldn't worry about Kai Leng as 'next time he's getting his ass kicked.'"

"That's what Kaidan said to her?" Joker shook his head and sighed. "Oh man, he's an idiot."

"I do not understand." EDI cocked her head to one side. "How was Major Alenko's response inappropriate?"

Joker turned his chair to face her. "When your girlfriend gets burned like that, you don't just say better luck next time."

"I was not aware that Commander Shepard and Major Alenko had established a romantic relationship."

"Uh, yeah. It's pretty obvious." Joker smirked. They might think they were hiding it, but all the old crew knew it had only been a matter of time before they both stopped being so thick-headed and just got back together. "No other reason for Kaidan to walk around with that stupid grin."

"I see." EDI's face went blank. A look that usually meant she was deep in her own programming. After a moment she pressed a finger on the private comm. "Major Alenko?"

"Yes, EDI," Kaidan answered.

Joker closed his eyes and covered his face with one hand. He could only hope she wasn't about to repeat anything he'd just said.

"It has been brought to my attention that your most recent interaction with Commander Shepard was inadequate."

"What?"

"Inadequate," EDI repeated.

Joker sunk his face further into his hands and shook his head. He had an urge to put his fingers in his ears and la la la the conversation away.

"EDI, what the hell are you talking about?" There was a sharp edge in Kaidan's voice.

EDI was either oblivious to the inflection or just didn't care. "It is customary to offer comfort and support when one's significant other is distressed. You have failed to do so."

Joker cut in before the conversation could take a really bad turn. One angry Spectre on board was enough; two was just begging for a hull breach. "Shepard was just here. She's still pretty pissed and since I really don't want any broken bones, it might be better if you go talk to her."

Kaidan punched the elevator controls with the back of his fist. He should have known better than to believe the damned face she put on for the crew. The woman could be infuriatingly stubborn. She wouldn't share the burden of the war even if it was crushing her to death.

He almost walked straight into her door when it didn't open. She never locked it. He tapped twice without an answer.

"EDI, can you override the lock?"

"Of course, Major."

He wasn't sure what to expect as he crossed the threshold into Shepard's cabin. The only light in the room was the dull glow that filtered through the wide fish tank. Any other time it might have been soothing and serene. But after everything they'd seen today, it was just grim.

"Shepard?" He stepped further into the room.

She was in the small alcove that formed her office with one arm braced down against the desktop. Her other hand held her framed Star of Terra. A symbol of all the lives she'd saved on Elysium, but now that success paled against all the lives lost since that first mission on Eden Prime. Virmire, the Battle of the Citadel, Horizon, Aratoht, Earth, Palaven, Thessia...the list was getting far too long.

He'd seen her weary and frustrated, but he'd never seen her look so defeated. Her facade of invincibility was gone, her emotions laid bare. It hurt to see her like this. It hurt more to know that he hadn't recognized how close she was to breaking down. He knew how hard pushed herself. But she kept so much hidden. She bottled up grief, repressing it with all her fears to keep everyone's hope alive. She was too good at convincing everyone she was fine.

But she wasn't. She was trying to take the blame for Thessia's fall.

"Shepard." She didn't respond. "It's not your fault."

Her shoulders tensed like a bowstring snapping back into place. She slammed the frame down into the desk. The sharp crack of breaking glass cut through the gentle hum of the fish tank. "I lost it, Kaidan." Her voice was hoarse. "The catalyst." Her hands clenched into fists as the intensity of her voice grew. "The only way to defeat the Reapers. The only thing that can save us. The missing piece." She spun around to face him. " I lost it. And I lost Thessia."

He reached her in two steps, pulling her close and locking his arms around her. "No one could have saved Thessia. No one could have anticipated Cerberus. I was there, Shepard. No one could have done more."

"It wasn't enough."

Kaidan searched her eyes for some clue of how to get past her stubborn insistence that she was responsible for everything. He'd seen her do it a hundred times. Always convincing people that they weren't to blame for events outside their control. "Liara was there. Is this her fault?" He lowered his voice. "I was there. Is it mine?"

"Of course not," she snapped back.

He cupped her face in his hands. "Then why is it yours, Shepard?"

Grief flashed in her eyes as tears started to well. "I should have been ready." She bit her bottom lip and shook her head. "I should have seen something like this coming. I should have...I don't know." The tears started to fall. "Oh God, Kaidan, I don't know."

She buried her face against his chest and cried. He wrapped his arms protectively around her, closed his eyes and took a deep breath. As much as he hated to see her in any kind of pain, he was glad that she was finally letting go.

When her breathing steadied he pushed the hair away from her face and tucked the dark strands behind her ear. "You're not alone in this, you know?"

She took half a step back to see his face. "I know." She bowed her head. Her fingers brushed the last of the tears from her cheeks. "Kaidan, I know I can count on you."

He tilted her chin up and locked gazes. She still didn't understand. "Shepard, this isn't just about having your back. It's my mission too. And it's not over. Not even close. We've got a hell of a good lead. And I know you. You don't know how to lose. We'll figure it out."

She nodded, took a slow breath and with a little more certainty said, "Okay."

Kaidan waited until he was sure she wasn't just telling him what he wanted to hear. He went to the desk and turned over the broken frame. Carefully, he pulled the medal out from the broken shards of glass. "You earned this. About a dozen times over. Nothing will ever change that." He held it out in the palm of his hand. With a slight smile, she placed her hand over it. "And at the end of all this," he continued, "I think you'll have a few more."

"I think we all will." She gently placed the medal back on her desk. "How many will that make for you, Major?"

He laughed, relieved by her teasing tone. "Just trying to keep up with you." There was more truth behind the statement than his levity suggested. It had been a long two years trying to live up to her memory. And a few too many missions he'd gladly undertaken not really expecting to survive.

His dark thoughts must have shown. Shepard draped her arms around his neck with a mischievous lopsided grin.

"What?"

"You still can't manage a simple 'everything will be alright,' can you?" Her grin broke out into a full smile.

He let out a huff of breath half way between a laugh and a sigh. "I guess not."

She took his face in her hands and pressed her lips to his. "I'm glad you're here."

He pulled her closer. "I'm sorry it took so long."

"You're here now. And now's when I need you most." She rested her head against his shoulder. One hand idly traced the lines of his uniform. "I love you, Kaidan."

"You know I love you." Even as stubborn as you are, he almost added. He thought back to all the times they'd argued. All the close calls. All the reasons they shouldn't have had this second chance. And yet here they were. "Hey, Shepard."

"Hmm." She tilted her head back to look up at him.

"Everything's going to be alright." He grinned.

She laughed and he could see the genuine mirth in her eyes. She was alright and for tonight that was enough. The rest of the galaxy could wait until morning.


End file.
